The Lord's Prayer 1 - Father, our Father.
The Return of The Prodigal Son - Rembrandt
Until very recently, almost everyone could recite the “Lord’s
Prayer”, usually in the King James’ Bible or Book of Common Prayer versions.
TV and Cinema use it as the go-to prayer when characters are required to pray
as they also use Psalm 23 as the only Bible reading anyone seems to know!
Today’s generations, however, are generally ignorant of both these ubiquitous
texts.
For me, having started my journey of faith in the Church of England, both these texts are, if anything, too familiar. The Pater Noster of pre-Vatican II Roman Catholic liturgy, then the "Our Father" of Anglican and Protestant traditions became a rote-recited prayer devoid of personal meaning and significance. Evangelical Fundamentalist and Charismatic-style congregations dismissed (and mostly still dismiss) it, along with the whole BCP/Liturgy thing as "mumbled repetition" after Jesus' dismissal, recorded in Matthew 6:7, "When you pray, don't babble on and on as the Gentiles [non-believers] do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again."
I was of that same opinion for a long time until I began to realise that I, along with these groups, did exactly the same thing in our own way. (Listen, carefully, to the majority of prayers in a typical Prayer Meeting and see if this is not, indeed, the case!) Of course, Jesus was highlighting an element of fear-based religion(s) (as well as witchcraft) that depend upon ignorance, superstition and repeated incantations to curry favour with God, "the gods" or, indeed, demonic spirits, to calm those fears. It's as effective as whistling in the dark, in other words!
One of the un-anticipated blessings for me of returning to
the Church of England and the Anglican, liturgical tradition, has been
regaining not only the familiarity of the liturgical text, but also a deeper
integration with it, immersion in it, and inspiration from
it. None more so than with the “Lord’s Prayer.” The more I recite it: slowly,
intentionally, meditatively sometimes, the more its spirit works in me, day
after day.
To unbalance us a little from the well-worn grooves of our
mental recording of the text, I am going to cite David Bently-Hart’s The
New Testament translation (hereafter referred to as DBH):
Our Father who are in the heavens,
let your name
be held holy;
let your kingdom come;
let your will come to pass,
as in heaven so also upon the earth;
Give us today bread for the day ahead;
And excuse us our debts, just as we have excused our
debtors;
And do not bring us to trial,
But rescue us from him who is wicked.
(David Bentley-Hart, Yale, 2017)
As in Latin, so also in Greek, the prayer actually begins
“Father, our Father…” For us moderns, this opening address is fraught with
distress and difficulty. Despite adding “who are in the heavens,” which might
successfully – and safely - distance this “Father” from us, that actually
compounds the problem. As, even today, most Christians adhere to a Platonic,
pagan belief in God as a distant and removed (and probably disapproving) figure,
“up” in some other “place” which we call “Heaven” we are not off to a good start
if we are trying to engage with “God”. This dilemma I will address next time.
For now, we need to focus on “Father, our Father”.
Fatherhood, and more often, the absence (physically and/or
emotionally) of good, trustworthy father-figures means identifying, accepting
and loving God as a father presents so many of us with profound
psychological, emotional and spiritual issues.
In an interview with Krista Tippett for her On Being podcast in 2017, Franciscan Friar, Richard Rohr talked
about his work with men, in particular: …And the rage in the young male who
never had a dad or had an alcoholic father or emotionally unavailable father or
abusive father is bottomless. It’s just — it moves out toward all of society, a
mistrust of all authority, all authority figures, all policemen, of course,
because — “If my dad abandoned me, I just basically don’t trust older men, and
I don’t like older men.”
Now you can see what a bind this put us in when we defined
God as masculine and called God “Father” exclusively. That’s one metaphor, but
it is a metaphor. And so, people who never had a loving male in their life, and
we come along and say, “God, the Father, loves you,” they have no outlet to
plug into…
Most of the men’s work Rohr has done has involved, first-of-all,
mental and emotional healing with regards to broken, painful, non-existent, or even
dangerous father-son relationships, in particular. Furthermore, he concludes
that “when positive masculine energy is not modelled from father to son,
it creates a vacuum in the souls of men, and into that vacuum demons pour.”
My father was a family doctor (GP), well-liked with a state,
then private-sector consultancy that lasted into his seventies. He was always
busy, often out of the house during “office hours” (surgery) or doing home
visits. He was on a rota for weekend cover as well. That’s not untypical for a
country GP. Also typical for his profession, but not exclusive, was an
emotional distance that included his family and especially, his children. Although
he was never violent, thankfully, this did me and my sisters no favours,
whatsoever. In my case it inevitably led to abandonment, acceptance and
approval issues that created a desperation to perform well for signs of favour,
while also rendering me incapable for a long, long time of empathy and healthy
relationships. I developed what is now called Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(NPD), which is still creating some problems for me (and my siblings) to this
day.
To have a “father” who is rarely available to you, spends no
quality time with you, and from whom you have never had a warm embrace or kiss,
heard the simple words “I love you,” or “Well done!” is to become someone who
distrusts elders or authority figures, has warped concepts of fatherhood and
experiences profound loneliness and self-rejection, making friendships and
emotional vulnerability almost impossible to establish, nurture and sustain.
Externally, it creates gregarious, ‘charismatic’ leadership types who often succeed
in the socially responsible professions such as lawyers, teachers, CEOs,
entrepreneurs, pastors, preachers, vicars, cardinals, and bishops - and not a
few Popes. Personality Cult-leaders too.
It has taken me years – decades – to not only address and
appreciate God as Father, but even more of God’s love and graceful reassurance
that I am Beloved, to bring me to a safe and comfortable place where I can
address Him as Abba, which is even more than our translation as “Papa”
implies. In our family we called my father “Daddy”, so you can imagine my
almost pathological inability to call my heavenly Father by that iteration of Abba.
I have come to a compromise, however, as a result of time lived in France (and
fluency in the language, so Papa is OK for me), and, more recently, in
Turkey where I picked up Baba from the Arabic form of Abba. (In fact,
the word "Baba" means "Dad" in many languages, including
Turkish, Urdu, Persian and some Slavic languages.) This
has now become a means of greater intimacy between me and our heavenly father
and has deeply enriched my prayer conversation.
In his book Experiencing Father’s Embrace, (Destiny
Image Publishers, Inc. 2002) the late Jack Frost writes concerning those with
“passive” (emotionally distant) father experience: “When relating to God, you
often will have a mental or intellectual assent to the gospel, but you rarely
let Father touch your heart and truly taste His love. You know God loves you,
but from afar, distant, and impersonal.” (Op. Cit. p118)
Concerning healing, letting go of your preconceptions (and
experience) of “father” he says: “When we release our earthly fathers
and begin to come to the Father as a little child in need of a father’s love,
we will begin to receive increasing revelation of Father God’s love that is
more powerful than any father issues we have carried through life. He will not
ignore your cry for a father. No longer will you have to surrender
yourself to the wounds within your father’s house, for Father God is calling
you to come home to Him.” (p 122)
I recommend meditating on the following scriptures: Ps.27:10;
68:5-6; Hos.14:3-4; John 14: 18,21,23; 16:27.
Perhaps Jack Frost’s prayer suggestion could help you:
Father God, I come to you in Jesus’ name. Thank You that the
door to your house is always open to me and that I do not have to fear your
loving presence. You tell me in Psalm 45:10-11 to let go of my identity that is
in my father’s house so that I can enter into the fullness of Your love. I come
to You for your help so that I can release and forgive my father.
Having worked humbly - and with great relief (I imagine) - through this
prayer, you may want to go further in the healing process and repent (change
your thinking about) the wrong doctrines, ideas or impositions you had held on
to, for whatever reason.
Father God, I come before you today and humbly ask You to forgive me for judging You
wrongly and allowing misrepresentations of who You are to affect my perceptions
of You. I have allowed religion, that is based on performance, and fear
to colour my thoughts towards you. I have sought to please You and gain Your
acceptance through my good works. I thought You were angry with me and
disappointed in me because I wasn’t good enough to deserve Your love. My focus
has been on religion and my performance instead of on my relationship
with You. Please help me gain a new understanding of Your unconditional love
for me. Now I bring to the cross all of those who misrepresented to me Your
character as a loving Father. I choose to forgive anyone who gave me a false
impression of who You are. I understand now that You are not angry with me, but
You are longing for deep fellowship with me because You love me so much. Help me to realise this fully and share it
with everyone I meet. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Oh Father, our Father!
Go well in His love.
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