To know Fully as We Also Have been Fully Known (1

 

I sincerely hope you survived your Christmas and turn of the Years and that they were as painless and disaster-free as you had hoped. That you rejoiced in the giving and were grateful in the receiving, also. I don’t think I am alone in saying, however, that the knowledge and weight of what brothers and sisters are suffering in terms of unimaginable pain, loss and disaster in Gaza, Israel, Yemen, Japan, Afghanistan, Ukraine and many other places (not least of all, on the streets and in the homes of our ill-governed UK), is - and has been - hard to bear and so has overshadowed our ‘celebrations.’

For most of us there is nothing we can do, other than, perhaps, send money to the agencies working to relieve the misery in these places. Though, of course, we can always pray. I raised this before (see Rattling God’s Cage) but I feel it is appropriate for me now to focus more on where I am, and how I cope with this praying business.

Ironically, and counter-intuitively as some of you know, I am currently interacting with two Anglican parish churches in the UK (equivalent to Episcopalian in the USA). More ridiculous still, I am on a path of discernment towards a vocational ministry in the Church of England! I know! Who would have thought, eh? I’ll maybe tackle the diverse questions, disagreements, and doctrinal dissentions in later posts.

For now, though, let’s concentrate on prayer.

One of my bugbears with Anglicanism, and consistent with my bugbears with Roman Catholicism, Lutheranism, Presbyterianism, and other institutionalised, liturgical church groups too has been, well, the Liturgy! My long Evangelical and Charismatic phase had confirmed their complaint that such forms of worship are “Temple Worship,” involving “standing on street corners, or in fine religious buildings, so that they may be seen by men…” “using meaningless repetition as the pagans (“Gentiles”) do, as they suppose they will be heard for their many words…” and as

‘Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “This people honour me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’” (Matt.15:7-9)

 

If that doesn’t accurately describe Sunday Morning service (“with Holy Communion”) at your local “St Thingummy’s”, I don’t know what does. Unless, of course, it doesn’t.

I worship with two Anglican country churches, which are as different in so many ways from one another as to seem to be unrelated. They have the same branding and packaging; they have common marketing methods, advertising copy, straplines, social media presence, and slogans. But the manner of their gathering, their methods of worship and their corporate behaviour and spirit are as chalk is to cheese. And yet, something remarkable has happened to and in me. I found I can be content, and to express myself in meaningful worship, in both a very traditional, BCP form of worship at the one, and the mixed liturgical, free-form “praise-and-worship” format at the other. We might discuss these another time. For now, however, it is the way traditional, liturgical prayer has changed my personal prayer life completely. And, most particularly and peculiarly, praying through the Psalms.

I came to a point in which I - as I am pretty sure that most, if not all, of you have also negotiated - no longer knew how, or what, to pray. Fortunately, Papa knew this, and brought to my attention several writings on the subject, not least the “Lord’s Prayer,”(four posts), but especially the Psalms!

In his introduction to his book-length appeal for a return to the Psalms in regular prayer and worship (Finding God in The Psalms, SPCK, 2014), Tom Wright states The Psalms, which make up the great hymnbook at the heart of the Bible, have been the daily lifeblood of Christians, and of course, the Jewish people, from the earliest times. Yet in many Christian circles today, the Psalms are simply not used…

            …The important point here is that some of the most important things we want to say remain just a little beyond even our best words. (Op cit. pp1,3)

With regards to the latter observation, Walter Brueggemann supplies us with prophetic detail:

            The Psalms function both as acts of prayer themselves and as invitations to other prayers beyond these words…At the source of this prayer tradition, the community found a particular, peculiar spokenness that we still speak: a spokenness that is daring and subversive, attuned to the realities of human hurt, to the splendour of holy power, to the seriousness of moral coherence, and to the possibility of cosmic and personal transformation...          

            The Psalms function not only as discipline and instruction about how to pray but also as invitation and authorisation to speak imaginatively beyond these words themselves.” (The Psalms as Prayer in The Psalms & The Life of Faith, Walter Brueggemann, Fortress Press, Minneapolis, 1995, p33.)

This explanation perfectly captures and describes how I have come to appreciate and use beneficially by grace, the Psalms as launching pads for my own subsequent utterances in prayer.

So, I will begin to look at three Psalms that form my daily, morning time, sitting with God: Psalm 103; Psalm 51; and Psalm 139, in that order. It must be noted, however, that in the Light of Christ, and the death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, we are permitted some adjustments in Time (Psalm 51), in Relationship (Psalm 103), and in Intention (Psalm 139).

Let’s take the last, first (as Jesus would surely endorse!).

Here is Psalm 139 in the NASB translation:

Lord, You have searched me and known me.
² You know when I sit down and when I get up;
You understand my thought from far away.
³ You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, Lord, You know it all.
⁵ You have encircled me behind and in front,
And placed Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot comprehend [attain] it.

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸ If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
⁹ If I take up the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will take hold of me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
¹² Even darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

¹³ For You created my innermost parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth;
¹⁶ Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were written
All the days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not [a single] one of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake [come to an end], I am still with You.

¹⁹ If only You would put the wicked to death, God;
Leave me, you men of bloodshed.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate You, Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
²² I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
²⁴ And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

(All Saints, Weybourne, Norfolk. UK. Image: author)

There is so much profound, prophetic, and powerful poetry in this Psalm, and I could write a book about it. (Maybe, God willing, I will. But not now, you’ll be relieved to know!) Today, we’ll dig a little into the first stanza:

Lord, You have searched me and known me.
² You know when I sit down and when I get up;
You understand my thought from far away.
³ You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, Lord, You know it all.
⁵ You have encircled me behind and in front,
And placed Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot comprehend [attain] it.

I really appreciate this opening. Lord, You have searched me and known me. ² You know when I sit down and when I get up; You understand my thought from far away. It gets me in a real place, acknowledging that I can’t pull the wool over God’s eyes (so to speak). It is also personal in its emphasis of what Martin Buber called the “I/Thou” relationship. There is no fear apparent in this opening address. “How well it is to know the God who knows us,” writes C.H. Spurgeon in his commentary on this Psalm, “The Lord knows all things naturally and as a matter of course, and not by any effort on his part. [As police searching a house, or ‘patting down’ a suspect, for example]” (See The Treasury of David Vol,3, C.H. Spurgeon, Hendrickson, 2021)

(In “EXPLANATORY NOTES AND QUAINT SAYINGS” Spurgeon gathers a number of quotations from other preachers and commentators which turn out to be most instructive. For “searched” there is a citation from Joseph Adison Alexander : “The Hebrew word originally means to dig, and is applied to the search for precious metals (Job 28:3 [1-3])” I have found it meaningful to use the word “probe” for search as it echoes the idea of digging, given here. It happens to be in the cited Job verse in the Tanakh translation!) Just the idea of Father God probing for precious in the earth (Adam) of our humanity is amazing. It recalls Paul’s words about us producing “gold, silver and precious gems” which will be purified through fire. (1 Cor. 3:12))

My heavenly Father is intimately acquainted with all my ways – and LOVES me! The simplest daily routines to which we usually give no thought, such as standing up and sitting down, as well as our ‘comings and goings’ (“my path and my lying down” which are scrutinized, which originally means winnowed!) matter to the Lord! Far from being a worrying Father Christmas figure who’s “making a list and checking it twice; Gonna find out who's naughty and nice,” Papa God is keeping an eye on us in case we come to any harm (including self-inflicted) not to keep score.

God reads our minds! And not “from far away” as we are inclined by bad theology to believe. No: Not that God is at a distance from our thoughts;” writes William Greenhill, “but he understands them while they are far off are far off from us, from our knowledge, while they are potential, as gardeners know what weeds such ground will bring forth, when nothing appears…And how can it be, but that God should know all our thoughts, seeing he made the heart, and it is in his hand (Prov.21:1), seeing ‘we live, and move, and have our being’ in God (Acts 17:28); seeing he is through us all, and in us all (Eph.4;6)…(William Greenhill)

God also anticipates our every word, too. With joy! How amazed and excited is a parent when a child expresses coherent thoughts and develops from babbling noises to sophisticated speech? And the combination of good, educated – even wise - thinking with intelligently and insightfully spoken expression. Some have thought (as I have, in moments of depression and self-rejection) that if God knows what I’m going to say before I say it, what’s the point of talking to Them? It is precisely the informed anticipation that gladdens the Father/Mother’s heart. So, pray on!

We are entirely encircled by God. Papa God’s hand is upon us, his palm protects, prevents, and promotes. We are entirely “hedged in” - as one translation states - with the most positive of implications. This suggests that I am protected both from the past as well as from the future. We have two unyielding frameworks of fear that constantly bedevil (sic) us: regret, shame, and guilt, along with deep, scarring wounds done by our own past thoughts, words, and deeds, as well as that harm and abuse done to us; and “future tripping” (cf. Wm Paul Young) where we imagine the most outlandish possibilities, outcomes or consequences in our lives, or fantasise about how amazing things might turn out – “just as long as…” Our past is taken care of on the Cross; our future is in God’s hands and, as far as we are concerned, does not actually exist. God’s palm of protection, prevention, or promotion is “To make of me one acceptable to thyself. To rule me, to lead me, to uphold me, to protect me; to restore me; in my growth, in my walk, in my failures, in my affliction, in my despair.” (Thomas Le Blanc, cited by Spurgeon)

Finally, (!) in this stanza: just to sit and ponder how utterly over my head and awesome is the vastness and marvel of God the Father, Son, and mothering Spirit! Of course, we cannot grasp this! How on earth could we?! But O what breath-taking joy to sit a wee moment just imagining such immensity blended with intimacy. This God I really want to know, live with and work with!

What a start! “For when one becomes conscious of who God really is,” writes Thomas Merton, “and when one realises that He who is Almighty, and infinitely Holy, has ‘done great things to us,’ the only possible reaction is the cry of half-articulate exultation that bursts from the depths of our being in amazement at the tremendous, inexplicable goodness of God to men [sic].” (From Praying The Psalms, Thomas Merton, The Liturgical Press, Minnesota, 1956)

Well, there we have wandered through the Forest of Psalms and happened upon a glade of sunlight, therein to contemplate. Reading the Psalms daily (I have adopted Wright’s habit of my “five-a-day”) enables me to gradually orientate myself, discover the shiny as well as the shadowy parts, the bright illuminations, and the dark imaginings. Some parts of the forest have become more familiar to me than others. All are to be enthusiastically explored. There is much mystery and magic to meditate upon, much to grow our inner mystic.

Tom Wright, again: [T]he regular praying and singing of the Psalms is transformative. It changes the way we understand some of the deepest elements of who we are, or rather, who, where, when and what we are: we are creatures of space, time, and matter…the Psalms will gently but firmly transform our understandings of all of them. (Op Cit. pp6-7)

And Merton: The contemplation we learn from the Psalter is not mere “speculation.” The Psalms are not abstract treatises on Divine nature. In them we learn to know God not by analysing various concepts of His divinity, but by praising and loving Him. The Psalms being hymns of praise, they only reveal their full meaning to those who use them in order to praise God.

            To understand the Psalms, we must experience the sentiments they express, in our own hearts. We must sing [pray] them to God and make our own all the meaning they contain. (Op Cit. P13)     

 

See you next time for more from Psalm 139.

Grace and peace, fellow Wayfarers. Go well.

Extra! Extra! Here I will share a desert thought from the collection by Mercy Aiken who works with the Network of Evangelicals For The Middle East and who co-wrote Yet in The Dark Streets Shining – A Palestinian Story of Hope & Resilience in Bethlehem with Bishara Awad.

 

Come, come whoever you are
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving
Ours is not a caravan of despair
Even if you have broken your vow
one thousand times….
Come, yet again, come. ~Rumi