The Desirable Truth of Our Innermost Being (1

 

                                            (Christ of St John on The Cross - Salvador Dali)

As the hyped-up religiosity of Lent continues to transform some and terrify others, it is quite likely that the whole “Repent” thing has been guilt-loaded on us, with special mention of Psalm 51. Yeah: That one! Of course, metanoia is crucial to all of us if we are going to enter into the life and government of the kingdom of heaven. Without the desire and the encouragement and impetus to change the way we think about ourselves and God, and to receive forgiveness and fulfilment in Christ; without an honest and authentic walk in the faith of Jesus Christ that experientially expresses a denying of ourselves and a taking up of our cross*in and as Christ, then we will “fall short” as Paul warns, and so miss out on the transformation and transfiguration we are invited to experience in Jesus.

A few posts back, I shared how my confidence and comfort in praying to our Father had been wiped out by negative statements loaded onto my back about who I am and how I live. The sense of guilt, of inauthenticity, of imputed narcissism, rendered all sense of being Beloved completely numbed, if not annihilated. I could neither trust myself to pray, nor to be able to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit within me that I had relied on for all my life, since first encountering Jesus as a boy in high school.

God, as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, has never let me down. But I needed a whole new experience of “repentance” as life-affirming and changing metanoia in order to dare to believe in the Grace poured out to me, and that my Father in heaven is always good and totally for me. Above all, that I am, eternally, absolutely forgiven, redeemed, restored, and resurrected in Christ. Every day! The way God did this for me was by encouraging me to pray the Psalms. In particular: Psalms 103, 51, and 139, daily, and in that order. This has absolutely revolutionised my life, my relationship with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as well as with my brothers and sisters in the household of faith and the wider world in which I live. It has also meant that, in the words prayed in Psalm 143:8 – Let me hear of your lovingkindness in the morning, I now awaken to the reminder that [t]he steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, so great is His faithfulness. What a refreshing, new way to start each day! It has made such a difference to, and in, my life.

We have delved into Psalm 139 (as “the last will be first”!) and now go to the middle to unpack Psalm 51 – to see what it is not saying and doing, and then what mystery it does reveal about us.

Here, then, is the opening, taken from the NASB:

            Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;

According to the greatness of Your compassion blot

Out my transgressions,

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

And cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

And my sin is ever before me.

Against You, You only, have I sinned

And done that which is evil [harmful] in Your sight,

So that You are justified when You speak [‘in Your words’],

And blameless [‘pure’] when You judge.

I don’t know about your experience, but I cannot conceive of penitential prayer outside the reassurance of God’s absolute love for me -in Hebrew, "hesed," which means “steadfast love,” of which agape, in Greek, is the closest in translation in the New Testament), mercy and compassion are essential to my being able to dare to confess my “sin,” my “transgression,” and my “iniquity.” Otherwise, I am dumbfounded - as the Psalmist sometimes is – “For in Your sight no man living is righteous,” (Psalm 143:2) yet who also tentatively reassures us: “If You, LORD, should mark [‘count’ – ‘take note of’] iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You that You may be revered.” (Psalm 130:3-4)

As we shall see, the fact that we have ‘sinned,’ and ‘erred and strayed’ from God’s way ‘like lost sheep,’ as the Book of Common Prayer (BCP) puts it, is not in question - even if many have - and some, today, do still lean towards - a “sinless perfection” paradigm which, while not entirely erroneous, is fraught with danger, if misinterpreted and lived out presumptuously! 

If we are in any doubt about the “Now, and Not yet” nature of our journey in God, then we need only recall Paul’s words in Philippians 3:7-16, (especially 12-14). As he says by way of encouragement: Let us therefore, as many as are mature, have this attitude; [the “now and not yet” one,] and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you (v 15). Jesus, like the prophets before him - including his cousin, John - would not have needed to preach metanoia if nothing was amiss! As Apostle John explained: “If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1: 8-9) Certainly, the Cross has dealt with these matters in eternity – so retroactively in our time awareness yesterday, today, and for ever - yet we still need to receive the finished work in our daily lives. I will return to this, below.

Let us consider the key words:

•           SIN: Hamartia in Greek, is usually rendered “to miss the mark.” I prefer “to miss the point,” as I think that speaks to the whole reason why we are in need of metanoia. It also means “to miss out,” and “to not share in.” So, it is a negative absolute! Indeed, it is the negation of our true identity, in and with God. Fatally, for us, it is the denial, or ignorance of our relationship to God, of our ‘One-ness’ or ‘Union,’ and, eventually, our unity with one another as well. It is why “God was in Christ, reconciling the whole world to Himself [sic], not counting their trespasses against them.” (2. Corinthians 5:19)
•          TRANSGRESS/TRANSGRESSION: Parabaino/Parabasis has to do with ‘going aside,’ ‘going beyond.’ So, more precisely than “missing the mark,” it suggests an “overstepping of the boundary”. In other words, to break, or breach the Law.  And, as Paul explains, the Law is good and does not make men ‘sinners,’ but the fact of the Law renders breakers of the Law, transgressors.
•           INIQUITY: Anomia (From a, negative, nomos, law) means ‘lawlessness’ and this translation is the favourite of the Septuagint (LXX) translation in use during Jesus’ ministry. Indeed, Jesus does not recognise those claiming to do things in his name saying of them “Depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.” It is as “outlaws” that we do so much of what we do!

It is with sober self-examination (2 Cor, 13:5) and self-awareness then (and not by confusing self-denial with self-rejection - an easy pit to fall into, especially in graceless religiosity that is performance-based), that we come sincerely and honestly before our all-loving heavenly Father to acknowledge what disguises, disfigures and dehumanises us (as those made in the image and likeness of God!), ask for forgiveness, and press on anew, hand-in-hand with Abba, in Christ Jesus, through the Holy Spirit.

*Let me conclude this first section with a note about “deny yourself and take up your cross, daily.” A whole recycling plant-full of books, papers and periodicals have been produced and pulped trying to explain how this might operate practically in our lives. The worst excesses involved extreme asceticism, including self-harming (“mortification”), which achieve nothing other than to flatter the narcissistic-religious ego and deny the true efficacy of the Cross! The Lowest Common Denominator interpretation is echoed in the popular misconception that anything that frustrates, annoys, inconveniences, humiliates, or stumbles us is “the Cross I must bear!”

Personally, I find that intentionally and honestly affirming Paul’s words concerning myself, I can pray with confidence: “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me.” (Gal.2:20)

I have been taught another self-denying (but not self-rejecting) prayer:

               Welcome, welcome all that comes to me;

               I let go my desire for power and control.

               I let go of my desire for security and survival.

               I let go my desire for Approval, Affirmation, and Affection.

               I let go my desire that all circumstances, and people,

               should conform to my needs and opinions.

               I gladly surrender to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

               AMEN.

Finally, “May it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” (Gal.6:14) If we fold this into our daily prayer – especially out of Psalm 51 – then our hearts and minds will be less and less conformed to this age, but rather transformed through the Holy Spirit’s renewing, resurrection power!

Next time we will study the second stanza and explore the mystery of our true identity! Go well, Wayfarers!

(Apologies for the layout issues, which refuse to be resolved. I hope the text is still readable. TP)

EXTRA! EXTRA! From the collection by Mercy Aiken who works with the Network of Evangelicals For The Middle East, and who co-wrote Yet in The Dark Streets Shining – A Palestinian Story of Hope & Resilience in Bethlehem with Bishara Awad.

It was a place of faith. We disappeared into landscape. --Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
Someone asked Abby Anthony, "What must one do in order to please God?" The old man replied, "… whoever you may be, always have God before your eyes…"